Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
