You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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