your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We need a shit load of segways right now
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
