I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
