She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
