I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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