The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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