no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
