We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
