Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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