Where are you?
In a non slutty way
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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