i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
