i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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