im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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