I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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