I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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