Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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