some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
