Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You're like the curious george of whores
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
