Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
