I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
