whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
