He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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