we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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