Need sex. Gaining weight.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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