Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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