I'm lost and stupid without you.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
