do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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