So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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