i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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