I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
