Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
