I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
