At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
