Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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