wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
