no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
