You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
