I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
