plz talk dirty to me
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
