that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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