At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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