Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
