so explain again why im purple
no
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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