is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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