So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
