this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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