If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
