I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
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