my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
